My Scripts Development Notes

This post contains my thought process throughout my scriptwriting process. It was a slow and steady process with a few clumps of hair from my head being pulled out but I got there in the end and managed to achieve a second draft that I was proud of. Starting the script was one of the most difficult moment for me, which I can only assume if the same with many other people. I had a few ideas that I could've made a short story with but I decided to go with 'The Drop' as the subject of the film means a lot to me, it's something that I understand and something that I knew I could make a story out of. The Drop is a short story about knife crime and friendship, I wanted to write something real, a story that people could get emotionally involved with and having the ability to write multiple drafts helped me accomplish this. 

My first draft had both good and bad aspects to it in my opinion, there was a clear story arc, and I think I still managed to capture the emotional side to the story which was really important for me. But I think the strongest part of my first draft was what's at stake. Every story is different, each protagonist will battle with different levels of conflict relevant to them, for example, it wouldn't be an entertaining story is superman had to rescue a kitten from a tree, there's nothing at stake. Anyway, getting back on track, in my story friendship is really one of the key points and creating a sense of a long-lasting friendship ending due to different interests and view of life was key for me. Luca is a footballer, he could go pro, and he gets that opportunity, but Max is his best friend, he's dragging Luca back, he wants him to stay in a life of drugs and violence and capturing their conflict was key. However, I felt like the set-up to the story could be more significant and that I could get to the climax quicker, but due the ending being left open to interpretation it gave me more time to work with the characters and develop them properly. 

When I received my feedback from Jane Marlow, I was very happy, she commended me for my storytelling and creating intensity and highlighting what's at stake. This feedback really gave me a confidence boost as I was nervous that my script wouldn't make the impression that I thought it would and as it's around a subject that I feel strongly about, and I'm glad the feedback reflected this. Jane also mentioned about the set-up and pay-off as they need some improvements and defining the characters and really giving them personality. 

Using Jane's feedback significantly helped me to boost my second draft and really bring the characters to life and raise the stakes. When it came to giving more personality to the characters we spoke about who they are, I wanted Luca to be someone who's trying to fit in somewhere he doesn't belong, he's stuck in a world that's something he doesn't want to be part of. For example, at the start of the story Luca is at training and he scores a goal, in my first draft all of his teammates come over to congratulate him. Jane mentioned about adding in how Luca reacts to this as adding in something as simple as that can help bring the characters to life even more. With this, I decided to state that Luca didn't celebrate when he scored, he was modest when all his teammates came over, he didn't get cocky. Adding in simple this like this really helped me to understand the characters more and I could then get more involved with the story. 

Max and Luca's friendship comes to an end when Max tricks Luca to be involved in a drug deal, which puts his life at risk and brings him even deeper into the drug world then he's ever wanted to be and now it's even more impossible for him to escape. In the first draft the drug that I used for the deal that took place was weed, but in order to raise the stakes I re-evaluated this and changed the drug to cocaine. The reason I did this is because of the image that weed has, it has become a very recreational drug that is used commonly across the country and I didn't really feel that there would be much 'threat' to Luca when he walked away. Due to the value of cocaine and the image that it has (life-destroying drug) I felt like it reflected better on the story and added more intensity.

Another part of the script that I changed in my second draft is Luca and Max's argument. In my first draft they argue and Luca walks away, leaving Max on his own and the story fades out to the next morning. This then relates to the ending of the script as Max betrays Luca and at the end after Luca gets signed there's shadowy figures waiting for Luca. I didn't feel like this was strong enough so I wanted to add more conflict in to the story. This meant that in my second draft you actually see Max betray Luca, he goes on the phone and calls their supplier, and in this moment Max goes through multiple emotion like rage and regret creating more depth to the character like Jane suggested. This also affects the end of the story as there are no longer shadowy figures we see the supplier and Max in the back of their car, which I believe adds to the pay-off.

In conclusion, there is a significant difference between my first draft and second draft. Jane's feedback really helped me bring the story to life, it helped me add more depth to the characters and giving my story more structure when I thought I was already happy with how my first draft followed the arc. Writing my first script has really helped my solidify everything we've learnt this term as I've now applied it to something I enjoyed writing. It's helped me understand the importance of going into depth with characters and creating emotional conflict and most importantly change.